Tuesday, September 29, 2015

It's been three months already?...!!!

Hey Y'all,

So as I said before I am trying to take the time to write for my blog. I want to keep doing it because it is something I have come to enjoy over the past few years. My blog is like a diary. It's like a safe place for my words to be written and seen by others to view. I like this aspect very much. I like sharing my personal struggles with others. I like to think that it helps others know that they are not alone in life. That everywhere someone is struggling with something. It may not be the same thing but it is a struggle non the less. 

Today, I come to share something or rather I should say someone that has become a part of my everyday life. This person is very important to me and they always have been. I'm not sure how long we have known each other. If I were to guess, I would say its been possibly four to five years of friendship. I like to think that our growth in friendship is what allows for what happened afterwords to be possible. As many of you know, my ex, a man I wish to not name because he is not worth mentioning by that fashion hurt me in more ways than one. He may not have physically hurt me but his words were like a punch to the gut. A loss of air to my lungs and a inability to speak or process what he was telling me that dreadful night he returned home. He came to tell me that he was ending our relationship of almost three years and that apparently I was nothing more than a past time for him. I will never understand fully what happened with us. I will never understand his reasoning or his defenses.

But those things no longer matter to me because I know have you. The person I am speaking of is known as Andrew. He has become my life these last three wonderful months that we have been dating. He is outright one of the best men to have ever walked into my life, I am without a doubt very lucky to have him now after some hardships before that made a relationship too difficult for me to handle. He was there for me when it felt like no one else was. He knew me better than anyone else. He knows how to make me smile and laugh uncontrollably. We fit well together, like a glove may fit over a hand in the winter. He was there when no one else could see how much I was hurting on the inside. He also could tell when I was lying and trying to pretend like I was not. He saw through me and all my defenses and I love him for it. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be able to be the girl I knew. Andrew helped me find myself again after the breakup. He helped me become whole again. He listened to me cry over someone that was not worth it. He listened to me when I was being hateful towards all  men because I believed that not a single one was good. It took me awhile to see what I had right in front of me, I had a man willing to do anything to make me happy. I had a man willing to do anything to make me smile. He's always there and when he can't be, he tries to make it up to me. I'm so happy you found me Andrew. You'll never know how lucky I am that we are together now. I can hardly believe it's been three months, already. It feels so much longer than that. I hope that time does us some good. We both deserve it. I'll always be there for you and be supportive of your decisions. I won't let you give up on your dreams when you feel weak. I will be your light in your darkest moments and I hope you will be mine. I hope we get to go places someday and do things other dream of. I hope so  much for us. I know we are meant to do amazing things. I also hope that someday I will tell you I love you. I hope to someday be the woman you wish to spend the rest of your days with. I hope I get to walk down the aisle and stand beside you as we recite the vows of love. I hope you know how much you mean to me baby because I know I don't always express it. I hope you know that you make my life brighter everyday. Happy Three Months baby. I couldn't be happier.


Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Everyone is a little Mad...!!!

Hey Y'all,

I'm not sure how to start this post. I went to see a concert last night with my sister and her best friend. It was a really great time. I had a lot of fun but I was exhausted by the time it was all said and done. We saw SayWeCanFly,Sounds Like Harmony, and a few other bands I'd never heard of.  I wish I had some pictures to share with you all but I don't. I'll have to see if my sister will let me borrow some of the ones she posted to her Instagram.  Oh by the way, if you guys want to follow me on Instagram, you can find me as CRAZYSNOWBUNNIE. If not that's cool too. I'm not really on there a lot. So don't expect me to post a lot. Also my profile is set as private on Instagram, so there's that as well. I also just celebrated my twenty-fourth birthday two weeks ago.

Anyway, after this awesome experience at the concert. I decided that I want to start blogging again and working on completing the books I was writing. I decided that I wanted to try and start blogging again because I haven't done it in a really long time. I've missed it. I think my goal is gonna be to try and write two to three posts a month to start out. That way I have some time to plan them out. I also want to start working on completing more chapters for my books. I think I'm gonna aim to have one chapter written a month. I know that seems like a lot of time for one chapter but I'm predicting that once I find a new job, I won't have as much free time as I'd like to commit to my hobbies.

Along side writing and blogging, I've begun my search for a new job. I'm hoping to find something that's full time but I might have to start with part time. I don't really want to go back to Giant, the grocery store I used to work at but I might have to. I need a source of income and my current job will be closing for the season soon. I've been really stressed out about it because I'm afraid I won't be able to find a full time job. My main concern is that I might have to get two part time jobs until I can find something better because I'm currently trying to pay off my debt and I can't do that with just one part time job. I'm so stressed though and I don't know if I can find one in the time frame that I need.

In other news, my friend and I are planning to move out together. We are hoping that we can move out sometime between November to December. That would be our ideal time. But if not, anytime after that would be alright too. It also depends on apartments and what's available when we go to finally sign a lease for an apartment complex we like. I'm super excited about moving out but I'm terrified as well. This would be the next big step into adulthood for me. I've never had this kind of responsibility before and its scary to know that I'd be dependent on just myself and my roommate.

Well that's all I have for now. I'll make sure to keep everyone updated on my job search. I hope I find a job soon. Wish me luck.